Sunday, 26 May 2013

Should I stay or should I go? A traveler's decision.

Apparently I was made in Paris. My parents jumped from country to country whilst I was in the womb, forsaking ties, family and jobs for pure undiluted freedom. That was what I was used to, I've lived many places in my life and as a small child I only resented moving once and that was many years later in a place I did not belong.

I get it from my mother, by her nature, she is a traveller. Originally from the Philippines, she has a way with communication for any language, in any country. 

So it comes down to me. I'm a 20 year old student with a need for travelling. I have to feel connected to nature, to the world, to travel and see sights for myself to function happily and properly. 

But let me repeat that: I'm a student

I have a part-time job, I have a very sensible, home-orientated boyfriend and by all accounts, I should be more than content.I'm tied in by commitment and safety, on my way to a formal qualification set, a nice house and eventually a well-paid job.

But there's a niggling unrest growing in the back of my mind and it has been for quite some time now: I don't want to be here right now. I want to run with someone (a friend, a soul mate, a traveller like me) and hitch-hike across Europe, nick oranges from the roadside in Spain, sleep holding my backpack and cycle down winding hillsides.   

I'm sure I can't be the only person out there who feels like this.

There must be many people reading who feel the same, but although I now live in a port, I have found no one like me. It confuses me how everybody is so tied into their lives and wouldn't dream of moving. It worries me - why am I different? 

Why are we different?

There are factors in life as well that we need to consider - with jobs getting increasingly cut-throat competition wise, every step up on another candidate is essential. Would our erratic travelling, our increased experiences and multiple cobbled-together language skills hinder or help our job prospects?  

I've found that often the point of most inner turmoil is also the point closest to clarity.

We don't yet know who we are - we need to travel to form our own ideas, to mature as people. I think the defining point is when you look inside and think:
"Do I need this?"
 For me, I think that might be the case.

Maybe there isn't really a choice to make - traditional values hold that you should get an education first, work hard as soon as you can. But who is stopping us from getting our education slightly later in life, when we have had our life experiences and know who we are? If you're reading this, you're probably blessed to live in a first world country where this is an option, where you can get a job relatively easily. There's a safety net, if needed. So really, what are we so confused about? I know, as an awful truth, the feeling that sticks with you for the longest, is regret. I don't want to tell my grandchildren that I was too scared to take the leap.